Mom’s bad day – What’s the cure?

**Warning — Bitch Alert! (written late last night)

This afternoon I took a little “me” break, and I got a pedicure.  It was such a nice hour:  Quiet, Calm, Relaxing, and a Beautiful Outcome to boot.  After that, it was pretty much a downward spiral.  The rain was pouring down at school pick-up, and my son came out to the car and informed me that he hit his head on the concrete at recess. That was just the beginning.  There was homework, dogs to feed, snacks flying everywhere, a report about some shenanigans at school, and my younger son realizing that he misplaced his iTouch.

At this point, we are all in a frenzy looking for the iTouch, talking about behavior expectations at school, trying to reach our cousin who is a pediatrician about the head smacking the concrete, and making our way through the 2nd grade spelling list.  This is when announcing that everyone was putting on their pj’s, having dinner, and waiting for bedtime was appropriate.  BUT, noooooooo…..I promised the boys that we would go see our local high school basketball team in round 2 of the state playoffs (45 minutes each way from our house).

That is the thing about moms, sometimes we do too much!  So, off to the game we went (they lost), and back home from the game we came.  I confess – I let the boys have Wendy’s for dinner.  I don’t do it often, but last night there was no other choice.

They did not believe me when I said that they could get Wendy’s while my guilt was settling in deeper.

After the Wendy’s, we spent another 45 minutes searching for the iTouch (when the dog probably ate it), and I called it a day.  I tucked the boys in, and told them that the search party would reconvene tomorrow after a good night’s rest AND a good day at school.

Add this terrible day on the heels of my mom’s recuperation from back surgery and my father-in-law’s continued stay at the hospital.  Now, it is 10 p.m., and I am trying to brush off the feeling of being the worst mom ever, and convince myself that tomorrow will be better.  I have two jam-packed days that involve really putting the prototype to the test.  On Friday, I am meeting prototype guy #2 over Skype to discuss unmentionables and more.  Tomorrow, I must get ready.

Except that I am a bad, disorganized, fast-food feeding mom, and how do I overcome that feeling?

It is hard not to get caught up in bad day as a mom, mompreneur, working mom.  We try to be so many roles, and to accomplish so much in one day.  Most days with the help of intense list making and prioritizing, we can pull it off, but not every day.  Today was one of those days that I could not make it all work.

My remedy to wash away the icky, bad mom feeling:

Warm shower, glass of wine, chocolate, good book, and get into bed.  Wake up thinking that it is a new day…DO NOT let the evil thoughts of the day before invade your new day.  A big cup of joe in the a.m., and maybe, just maybe, some yoga

I will let you know how it goes for me….Do you have a cure for the bad day that you swear by?  Please share here….Rachel

{ 12 comments… add one }

  • leadinglight March 17, 2011, 5:41 AM

    Need to let bygones be bygones or it will get increasingly difficult to face the future

  • Tori March 17, 2011, 8:59 AM

    Well I’ve only been doing this mom things for a little over 10 months, but I can tell you – I’ve been there! And all I can do, you already said, is wake up tomorrow and start a new day. I like the shower, wine, chocolate, book, bed routine… you deserve that EVERY night, not just at the end of hectic days.
    As far as feeling disorganized… you aren’t! Maybe it’s just God’s reminder to change things up, be flexible, and keep you on your toes. He knows you will adapt, and sometimes we need to remind ourselves to stay flexible. My little one has done a good job of reminding me of that almost daily!
    When my hair is raised, my temper is high, my confidence is low, or I’m mentally or emotionally exhausted… I can only feel better once I finally accept that ‘it is what it is.’ And the hardest part is having the insight to identify a ‘bad day.’ Fortunately, my husband points it out if I haven’t gotten there yet! Once I realize it & accept it, I can breathe again and just wrap up the day with a sigh (or a sip) knowing tomorrow is a brand new day.
    Finally, a little Wendy’s is probably just what everyone needed! It doesn’t make you a fast-food feeding mom. Who would think that about you? A little fast-food is good for the soul… I’m a french fry addict. Hey, you fed your kids right? And it’s not like you go to the drive-thru every night. So ease up on yourself, get the frosty, too! And remind yourself that there are families out there taking their kids to Wendy’s because it’s the only place they can afford to go “out to dinner” and they probably look forward to it all week.

    Enjoyed your blog this morning. 🙂

  • Rachel Blaufeld March 17, 2011, 9:49 AM

    “let bygone be bygones” AND
    “it is what it is” –> BOTH great pieces of advice!

  • Nicole Fende March 17, 2011, 12:27 PM

    Rachel we’ve ALL been there and it sounds to me like you handled it like a champ. The occasional Wendy’s does not make you a bad mom, it makes you human. I like the wine & chocolate solution however I find that a good long run clears my head.

    • Rachel Blaufeld March 17, 2011, 7:45 PM

      Thanks for the support Nicole! I opted for a big long power walk and that really cleared my head — wine & chocolate, too. RB

  • Haralee March 18, 2011, 11:30 AM

    Trust me when I say you can not beat yourself up over a slight misadventure. No blood was lost, no one died, time to move on to the next day!

    • Rachel Blaufeld March 20, 2011, 7:12 AM

      Haralee – I think that I am going to print your statement out and post above my desk! Thanks for your words of wisdom…. Rachel

  • Rita Brennan Freay March 19, 2011, 12:46 PM

    Oh RB, I am with Haralee…go easy on yourself (although I have felt the ipod touch missing panic $350 down the drain)…nobody was bleeding or dying…the wine should help:) I think getting away from it, helps. I’ve had many overwhelming days, deadline meeting crisis, where one kid is sick, or forgot something at home (adding another stop on the way to my meeting)..where you just want to cry/scream BUT you can’t…because life goes on (and you have that meeting and don’t want to look like a racoon with your mascara running down your face!). I think you handled it very well (actually we parent VERY much the same, cause we woulda went to the game too…lol!)…I have no secret coping mechanisms…if anyone else does.. please share the love! Hang in there…I (and many others) am with you!

    Rita Brennan Freay

  • Fiona Stolze March 20, 2011, 7:27 AM

    This is just a day in the life of Rachel. Nothing more and nothing less. I’d just go with the flow and accept what is happening. There are days that work out super-good and days like this when the pendulum swings to the other extreme. Just finding the balance.

    I agree that waking up the next day with a clean slate is essential. Don’t let what happened the day before even figure on the radar. Start afresh. And just look for the benefits in your muddled day. There will be a silver lining if you look for it.

    We’ve all been there Rachel and will continue to find ourselves in these challenging spaces. Keep breathing. You are doing a fabulous job. x

    Fiona Stolze
    Inspired Art and Living

  • callieadams March 20, 2011, 12:19 PM

    Yep, I agree with you. Book, bath, and a little time to think about what’s good in my life. Maybe some nice cute pictures of the kids I love but almost strangled at bedtime. Next morning, big cup of coffee and more positive thoughts.

  • Denisse Marie March 20, 2011, 12:28 PM

    The cup of wine and a nice romantic comedy chick flick works for me. Or sometimes just playing or reading to my girls helps because they always make me laugh and they have no worries so it reminds me to just let things go.

    But I congratulate you – this is what makes us mompreneurs. We can handle the bad days and keep pressing forward.

  • Maridel Bowes April 29, 2011, 1:57 PM

    We’ve all had days like this as mothers.
    I think the main thing is knowing that they are not so much about us as they are about Life…and managing these bumpy, lumpy passages with as much self-love as possible. Sounds like you did a good job of that to me.
    Love your honest portrayals.


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