Forget Dance Moms…

I promised some sports momma drama over the next few months, and here is your first installment.

First of all, my ass is thrilled that we are still in practice mode for basketball.  It really cuts downs on the amount of time that I need to sit on the bleachers. Those bleachers were either created by elves or people who had a very small ass.  There is no way that I can comfortably sit my rumpus on the bleachers and be there for hours without needing large amounts of ibuprofen.  No way.

Second, we are still in practice mode, but the dads are acting as if the NBA finals are taking place.  This is not due to the NBA being out, trust me, it would happen regardless.  No sooner do I walk into the gym yesterday, sit down on the ass-unfriendly bleacher, and the dad next to me starts yelling at his 8 YEAR OLD to do this play and that play.

Ummmm….the 8 YEAR OLDS are scrimmaging and having fun and by the way – could you possibly do that play yourself?  I mean this guy was as about out of shape as you can imagine.  Out of shape and sweating from yelling the plays.  The guy is yelling, the poor kid is cringing, another guy down the bench is getting worked up now, and I am just laughing because after all this is 8 YEAR OLD basketball PRACTICE.

I am pretty sure that there is a TV show, Dance Moms (right, moms of girls?), and now I know for certain that I may need to film Basketball Dads on my iphone.

I am happy to report that I am writing this from the comfort of my couch where my ass is very happy.


{ 10 comments… add one }

  • Jessica @FoundtheMarbles November 20, 2011, 6:13 PM

    We sports parents can sure get a little crazy!

    Reply
  • Nicole Fende November 20, 2011, 9:20 PM

    Helpful hint – you can actually buy easily transported bleacher seats. Some are very inexpensive and would definitely be worth saving you from the pain in the patootie.

    Re crazy parents – I think my snark might have taken over and I would actually ask the dad to demonstrate the move for me. LOL.
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  • Miss Donna November 20, 2011, 9:56 PM

    out of control screaming parents trying to live their childhood athletic dreams via their school-aged kids get on my last nerve! i sit as far from them as i possibly can. and i’m with Nicole – – invest in a bleacher cushion.
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    • Rachel Blaufeld November 21, 2011, 6:46 AM

      I think my son should get me the bleacher cushion for the holidays……

      Reply
  • Judy Goldman November 21, 2011, 8:13 AM

    As a grandma of the basketball player, I for sure need a bleacher cushion.
    I am laughing at your idea of filming the basketball dads. It would be a really funny reality film.

    Reply
  • Haralee November 21, 2011, 5:54 PM

    I pity the coach as well as the kids and other parents with all the screaming Dads. Can you ask the screamers to use their ‘Inside Voices’!
    Go for the cushion with the back rest. They are comfortable and stops the kicking on your back behind you.
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    • Rachel Blaufeld November 21, 2011, 6:00 PM

      Haralee – are you suggesting that I get beat up? 🙂

      Reply
  • Ericka November 21, 2011, 6:05 PM

    I’ve got two boys. Both under five, but showing signs of athleticism. I’m dreading little league sports….because of the crazy sports coaches and parents!!
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