Today is Monday. I am saying that more for my benefit than anything else. Today is the LAST day of a VERY long spring break for my boys. I am holed up in Starbucks trying to get some work done and the boys are home with a sitter. I don’t feel guilty. Typically, I would, but not today.
I am trying to ‘give up the guilt’ as of this morning.
What is the guilt all about anyways? The guilt is bullshit. After a long week and a half of stringing together coverage, taking time off, a fabulous trip to NYC, and the heated political discussion turned mommy wars via Hilary Rosen and Ann Romney, I am giving up guilt. It is all just bullshit.
When I feel guilty, in turn I try to make my kids feels guilt for the time and overtime that I spend with them. I find myself saying, ‘I gave up such and such to do this with you, so you need to do this‘ or some version of that. I am ABSOLUTELY not saying that what I do is right. In fact, I am saying that it is WRONG.
I am stopping as of today. I am done with it. I don’t want to feel guilt, and I certainly don’t want my kids to learn the vicious cycle of guilt. I am done with it. Partly because it is a bad habit and mainly because my family is sick of it. Right about now my husband is wondering if I really actually DID hear him when he said, ‘Stop letting my little son guilt me AND I need to stop aggravating over EVERYTHING and learn to enjoy.’ Yes, I did.
See the guilt takes the enjoyment out of everything. The guilt siphons out the sincerity of a blog post if I feel guilty while writing it, and the guilt that I am giving up work or working out or whatever to go to a basketball tournament takes the fun out of it for everyone. Period. It is Bullshit. End of Story.
This is not just a personal thing, but a business issue, too. I know that many people, women especially, feel guilty when asserting their needs, wants or specifications in the workplace or in a business deal. I am done with that, too. I mean this type of guilt paralyzed me last week.
If you follow me on Twitter, you know that last week, I received the latest rendering of my prototype and it was WAY off. Although I picked up what was perfection on my trip to Columbus, I was led to think ‘Well, maybe we could add this, take this away and do this,’ and all that got me was CRAP. When I needed to chat with my design team, I was guilty in asserting that the OLD way was the BEST way. I did not want them to feel bad about their work.
I literally was asking for some type of support from the outside world to relieve me of my guilt. Honestly? That is bullshit, too.
So, as of today – I am finished with guilt. It is such a wasted emotion.
I give up mostly everything on the weekends to enjoy my family (except for the Mom 2.0 Summit – can’t wait), and I work hard during the week so I can do exactly what I just said. I think my prototype is sheer perfection, and I am done over thinking and over guessing changes. It is time to move forward.
And, now I am finished with my first huge cup of coffee. Time for another and some more work. My kids are fine. I am fine. The sun is shining and the guilt is off my shoulders.
Are you going to join me?