Yesterday, I was experiencing a bit of writer’s block and growing agitation. I was deciding between writing a funny little ditty or sharing something witty about my women’s problem over the weekend, so I went for a walk. It was during this walk that I received an email from my mom that sent a chill washing over my entire body.
A woman from our community passed away. Not just any woman, but a woman who I both admired and looked up to; a wife and mom to 3 children; a fellow mom that advised me on school and camps before blogs; a woman who stood up for other women and always smiled and listened. I was not quite good friends with this woman yet we were more than acquaintances.
The chill continued to wash over me as the day went on and I consumed the information. Suddenly, the fact that Henry’s home office is so messy did not matter. Quickly I forgot about my own bullshit and all the little things on my to-do list. My normally relaxing haircut and peaceful time in the salon chair meant nothing. After all, confusion hung heavy everywhere I went.
I have had this overwhelming sense lately that life must be lived to the fullest. Life should be rich with experiences, love, and fulfillment of dreams. Believe me, this is difficult for me. Too often do I get swept up in the little things. The laundry, the Legos on the floor, when last time the carpets were cleaned, and who forgot to put the leftovers in the fridge?
With the chill enveloping me yesterday, I was reminded that none of it matters. None of it. Heck, my kids love me more when they can spread the Legos all over dirty carpet instead of putting away clean laundry. Not to mention, delivery pizza is so much better than leftovers. It is the LOVE that we must capture and hold onto forever.
Last week, my oldest complained of fluid in his ear, so I picked him up early from school to go to the doctor’s office. Nothing was really wrong with his ear, but there were only 90 minutes left of school, and suddenly, I did not want to take him back. For 90 minutes, I wanted to remind myself what it felt like years ago when he was little and spent the majority of his time with me. Call me selfish, Call me crazy, Call me whatever you want, but those were some of the best minutes of my life. Full of love and chicken teriyaki samples at Trader Joe’s.
We did not need to spend a lot of money on activities. We simply picked a few things up at Trader’s Joe’s, enjoyed the free samples and the experience is firmly imprinted in my heart. Most rich experiences do not need to cost a thing. This past weekend, our gorgeous 8 month-old baby cousin came for a visit. We spent the morning at the playground, pushing the little bundle in the swing and the stroller, and reading her children’s books from the used book sale at the boys’ school. Not quite Disney World, but just as AWESOME and rich.
Being filled with all this love and experiences, I know I must conquer all my dreams. That is the last part of the equation. Dream fulfillment makes the love grander and the times together better. In my house, there is a Pink BacknGrooveMom team on the Xbox. Talk about my heart bursting. This is a small way that my boys’ show me they are so proud of what I am growing.
It is so hard to remember what is important in our fast paced world of technology and texting and leaping to new boundaries, but do not be mistaken. No matter what day and age, we live in…Life full of love, vibrant experiences, and dream seeking is what it is all about.
Sometimes, it is the gravest of experiences that remind us of this and reel us back into our priorities. Often it is something as small as an earache, but no matter what, try to remind yourself of this:
Who do Love? Who loves you? Why do you do what you do? When are you happiest?