It has been a while. A long while since I have updated BacknGrooveMom…you must be worried.
Either way, I was sifting through Facebook today, and I noticed one of my friends who recently had her second baby posted the most adorable picture. The caption said something to the effect of: Thank God she is so cute and we love her because she doesn’t sleep.
I thought back to the early days when I had just brought home my second baby, and Yeah, he wasn’t sleeping, and yes, thank whatever God you believe in, he was so adorable because I was downright exhausted. So exhausted, I tripped and broke my foot in three locations.
But, damn that baby was so cute…and, so was my older child. He was cute and handsome with an adorable budding personality. He kept saying, “Look at ME!” at the time, not so quietly reminding us that he was still around despite their being a new baby in our lives.
In fact, he was around first, and he wanted his attention back. He didn’t care that I was tired or that my foot ached. It didn’t bother him that my husband was keeping long hours at the office and then had to come home and not only bathe an infant and a toddler, but lift his wife in and out of the shower.
NOPE. He didn’t care one bit. “Look at ME, mommy!”
I try to believe that there were not periods of time that I didn’t look at him. Chunks of time where Dora the Explorer was not the easier way out. Afternoons where we would settle in to watch Toy Story, and I would fall asleep…but, all those things happened.
Slowly but surely, I came out of my funk, learned how to sleep on the floor and simultaneously rock the bouncey seat, and was back to LOOKING at my older son all the time. Seeing his first day at preschool in a big black boot, sporting crutches, and no doubt without a shower, was one of my happiest days. WATCHING him
look for the ice cream truck play T-ball for the first time was the BEST.
LOOKING at him sleep, eat, grow and use the potty all highlights. Each one brought with it growing pains unique to my son and the stage, but I adored looking nonetheless.
From time to time, my attention was diverted when my younger son started to sleep, eat, grow, crawl and walk himself bringing with him his own set of challenges and triumphs.
Well, that is why I have not updated here at my first writing baby. I have a second writing baby…a fiction novel…which doesn’t sleep. It doesn’t mean I don’t love BacknGrooveMom. I always will.
In fact, just like I could not imagine life without my second baby after he was born, or I couldn’t grasp how we survived with three now that we were four…my book could not exist before this blog.
This blog, and writing, nurturing, cultivating, and growing it reminded me how much I loved WRITING.
IT has been a goal of mine since I got a D++ in the 11th grade to write a book, and now I’m doing it. While the content is night and day from this blog, much like my children’s personalities could not be any more different from one another, I need one to understand the other.
This blog taught me more than I can share here without this turning into a million words, but I get writing, sharing, letting myself feel it and go with it NOW. I got kids after my first, felt more confident as a parent with my second, and now I can’t say what life would be like without either.
So, I may be LOOKING over here a little less, but I am CARING as much, if not more, than I ever did.
Only this book..is keeping me up, and all the nuances with publishing, and more DBA/LLC crap which drives me bonkers, but I will survive. I will live through it all just as I did screaming babies and toddlers with poopie diapers.
I will live on to tell what I know, share my mistakes, and continue to highlight different ways moms make it all happen.
P.S. I did not disappear on twitter – I am simply @rachelblaufeld now…see you over there!