Discussion Starter: Have you experienced THIS?

Its a topic that has surely been beaten into the ground. Deep in the ground, beyond the first and second layers of soil, all the way into unknown territory. It is so deep, we can barely pull it back out. We are wrapped tight, entrenched in, and buried with it. This topic that is.



This being: Why do women have to beat each other up? Not literally, but mentally.



Why tear someone down? Does it make you feel better about yourself?


women sharing cocktails, gossiping

And, that is precisely what is at the root of all this tearing, clawing, scratching, and bashing mental warfare.



We are our own worst enemies as women/wives/partners/moms if we cannot take pride in what we do. Whatever it may be. It could change several times, and at each and every stop, take merit in what you do, and when you don’t––look for a change. STAT.



And, don’t think you are alone. Do not take solace in bringing someone else down when you are in a bad place.



“OOOh, did you hear, she wrote a dirty book?”


“Can you believe she JUST stays home?”


“Geez, she’s been traveling a lot for work. Is she ever with her kids?”


“Does she EVER cook?”



These are all statements I’ve heard about myself at various stages of what I’ve been doing for the last few years. Yeah, they sting, but I let it burn, fester, and simmer out before moving on, sloughing it off as bullying. (Crap, I hate that word – but, that’s what it is.)



The funny thing is over the last decade+, I have felt the same amount of pride in writing a dirty book as I did when I was able to successfully diaper my kids standing up in an airplane bathroom.



So, have you found yourself taking an insult to heart?

Or, better yet, have you caught yourself giving one, and felt bad?

Its okay.

Move onward.


Please share here. Let’s get a discussion going.

{ 10 comments… add one }

  • Jessica @EatSleepBe May 21, 2014, 6:50 AM

    I think women feel a need to put others down to generate gossip and as a way of feeling better about themselves. I’m sure, actually I know, that I was guilty of this when I was younger. In recent years I realize that life is way too short for petty.

    • Rachel Blaufeld May 21, 2014, 8:58 AM

      agreed – I think we are all guilty at one point or another, but it means we are growing up when we cut it out! R

  • Aliza May 21, 2014, 12:13 PM

    I will never understand how one person’s life choices become openly (or privately) judge-worthy for others. I try to approach everyone as someone doing the best they can under their own particular circumstances – 99% of which I know nothing. I don’t always succeed, mind you, and if someone else proves themselves hurtful to others, I give them less leeway. But I do wish more people looked at others through the wider lens of “Well, maybe that’s not how I’d do it, but I’m not them,” and wish them the heartfelt best.

    • Rachel Blaufeld May 21, 2014, 3:58 PM

      THIS – “Well, maybe that’s not how I’d do it, but I’m not them.”

  • Haralee May 21, 2014, 7:10 PM

    Some people are judgmental. I look at them as not have anything in their own lives to be proud about so they make obnoxious comments. What gets me is the ones to my face who are sweet and then talk about me behind my back and I find out. Passive aggressive or chicken-shit? Those are harder for me to shrug off. And I have seen men do it too. Judgmental and passive aggressiveness crosses all genders.

    • Rachel Blaufeld June 4, 2014, 11:06 AM

      Passive aggressive or chicken-shit? – EITHER WAY, you are right –> those are the worst to deal with!

  • Elena May 21, 2014, 9:53 PM

    This tendency to judge starts when girls are in elementary school — or at least, I remember both as a child and later as a teacher- hearing the passing comments. As a child, teenager and early into my adult life, I let the judgment bug me but over time have tried to remove myself from caring. Not always easy- for sure. (the ones that bother me the most are actually from family members- I cannot seem to let those drop by the wayside).
    Elena recently posted..Find Family Travel Wellness on a StaycationMy Profile

    • Rachel Blaufeld June 4, 2014, 11:07 AM

      YOU bring up a good point –> family members hit the hardest. Definitely.

  • Christine June 4, 2014, 11:03 AM

    Great post, Rachel! I think you make a great point – whether it’s writing a steamy novel, traveling without the kiddos whether for work or serving on a non-profit board (like I do), etc. – embracing how rewarding these accomplishments can be really does help to drown out chatter from the haters.

    • Rachel Blaufeld June 4, 2014, 11:09 AM

      I just think “cut it out” –> I don’t tear “you” apart.
      Its all so silly, and kudos to you…the volunteer work you do… is crucial!


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